


Splitting Seams

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Japhan, M/M, fortune teller, smut in later chapters, trigger warning: self harm, trigger warning: suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-23 13:34:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4878796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's from Phil's perspective. He keeps reliving a day that he rather wouldn't, and would do anything to make it stop-except stopping means that he will never see Dan again. Time is running out.</p>
<p>You can also check out this story on my wattpad @the.fiction.in.ur.jeans</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 0: Dreaming

DREAMING

I don't know where I am. 

I'm in some kind of shadowy, tent-like room. There are scarves and droopy fabrics draped everywhere, over lamps and hooked from the walls. I carefully glance around. It seems like some kitschy little fortune-teller shop. I'm about to stand up when a tiny little old lady walks in, holding a steaming mug of what appears to be tea. I relax when I see Dan tailing behind her, barely keeping his grasp on a full teapot and two more mugs.

He sees me sitting and smirks. "Phil, aren't you going to help? Madame Suoh needs the leaves from the tea to help read our fortunes, remember?"

Right, how could I forget? While wandering through Japan, Dan and I had stumbled upon some cute little fortune-telling place. I hadn't known that fortune telling was a big thing in Japan, but apparently it is. I leap up immediately to grab the mugs from Dan. We set everything on a tiny wooden table surrounded by a few fat pouffes and take our seats facing the tiny old lady, Madame Suoh. 

"Drink, boys, you must drink," she says sharply, pouring hot tea into our mugs. "I will read the leaves, but you must drink."

I stifle a gasp at how hot the tea is, but it's quite a pleasant flavor and I manage to hide my initial discomfort. While Dan and I take sips of our tea, we watch Madame Suoh lay out what appear to be tarot cards. The iridescent, colorful backs of the cards face us and I get somewhat distracted from my tea in looking at them.

"Drink, boys! I need the leaves!" Madame Suoh snaps, her long beaded necklaces rattling. I jump a bit, but Dan reassures me with a sympathetic look and we finish our tea, handing her the mugs.

"Right, okay, now. You, vampire boy," she points at me and I catch Dan's cheeky little grin at her name for me. "Pick a card."

I ponder at the cards for a few moments, but I don't want to test Madame Suoh's patience more than I already have. Eventually I choose one at random, with an illustration of a grassy field on the back, and hand it to her. 

"Okay! Now, Mr. Giant," Madame Suoh says. This time it's my turn to smirk at her name for Dan. "Now you pick a card."

Dan selects a card painted with a wave crashing onto the shore. I raise my eyebrows at him, saying, Wow Dan like OMG so deep!!11!!! He glares at me, saying, Hey, it was random.

Madame Suoh flutters her hands around a bit, waving her thin, bony fingers over the empty mugs while muttering rapidly in some undetectable language. She flips our mugs onto our respective cards, letting the wet leaves at the bottom dredge onto the back of the cards. Dan and I watch, fascinated. 

After a few minutes she removes the mugs from the cards. I don't know what I was expecting, maybe some amazing illustration of my future made in tea leaves, but it was just a wet lump. Dan chuckles quietly at my disappointed expression. "What, were you expecting the Mona Lisa or something?"

I shush him as Madame Suoh continues muttering, lifting off Dan's mug as well. He tries to hide it, but I see his eyes light up when she does this, hoping for something extraordinary. Alas, he too receives a wet lump. 

For a few awkward minutes, we sit in silence as Madame Suoh keeps waving her hands around, the only sound coming from our uncomfortable fidgeting and the jingling of her many bracelets, until finally she freezes.

"Blue eyes," she says, her voice deeper and hoarser than before. "Blue EYES!" She screeches the last word, her voice cracking. Dan and I jump in surprise at the sudden raise in volume, but she doesn't seem to notice. She looks up, and her eyes bore straight into me. "His eyes are blue with the tears to come, skin pale as the tiled bathroom floor."

The little lady turns her x-ray eyes onto Dan, her voice chanting eerily. "His fingers dance like the ticking of a clock. Tick, eleven days, tock, ten days. Tick, nine days, tock, eight days. And his fingers will tremble in the final minutes."

I start feeling creeped out, and I glance nervously at Dan. He seems to feel the same way, silently asking, Can we leave?

"Um, Madame Suoh? Excuse me?" I ask tentatively. She doesn't seem to hear me. "Madame Suoh? Um, we-we just remembered, we told a friend we would meet her soon, we're just going to go..."

Still no recognition. 

"Should we just...go?" Dan asks. "I mean, I think she's just kinda...off in her world..."

"Madame Suoh?" I say, louder than before. She's slumped in her armchair, muttering silently, and pays no attention to me. "Should we call someone? Like, is she okay?"

Dan nods. "Yeah, I'll go see if anyone outside knows what's going on."

He's almost at the door when Madame Suoh shoots up from her chair, rigidly straight. Dan and I both stop and watch her.

"Tick, tock, eleven days. Tick, tock, eleven days. Tick, tock, eleven days," she chants, more urgently than before. 

"Madame Suoh?" Dan almost has to yell over her chanting. "Madame Suoh, thank you very much, but we're just going to-"

She practically flies over to him and grabs his shoulders. "Tick, tock, eleven days! Tick, tock, eleven days!"

"Phil!" Dan cries out in shock. I hurry over to help him, but suddenly I'm walking through water. I can't move. The water is drowning me, blocking my eyes. All I can hear are Dan's cries for help, and that repeated chant. Tick, tock, eleven days. Tick, tock, eleven days. Tick, tock, eleven days. TICK, TOCK, ELEVEN DAYS. TICK, TOCK, ELEVEN DAYS. I'm frozen, I can't move, I'm drowning, I'm blind-

"KISS KISS, FALL IN LOVE!"

What the hell?


	2. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1: ELEVEN DAYS  
Recap from last chapter:  
“Phil!” Dan cries out in shock. I hurry over to help him, but suddenly I’m walking through water. I can’t move. The water is drowning me, blocking my eyes. All I can hear are Dan’s cries for help, and that repeated chant. Tick, tock, eleven days. Tick, tock, eleven days. Tick, tock, eleven days. TICK, TOCK, ELEVEN DAYS. TICK, TOCK, ELEVEN DAYS. I’m frozen, I can’t move, I’m drowning, I’m blind-  
“KISS KISS, FALL IN LOVE!”  
What the hell?

I wake up suddenly, sitting bolt upright. Peppy, sparkly guitar plays loudly from the kitchen.  
“MAYBE YOU’RE MY LOVE!”  
Huh. Dan’s watching our morning anime, apparently Ouran High School Host Club, without me. Rude.  
“Hey Dan!” I yell. “What happened to waiting for each other to watch anime?”  
He yells something in response, but I don’t hear it as I’m already on my way to the shower. The clock next to my bed reads 7:18. That’s odd, I don’t normally wake up so early. I’m a deep sleeper, so the theme song wouldn’t have woken me up either. I suppose I must’ve been having a bad dream, but I can’t remember it. Something about...tea? And...drowning? I’m not sure.  
I shower quickly and dress, putting in my contacts and straightening my hair. By the time I make it out of my bedroom, my clock only reads 7:29. I manage to run to the kitchen in only 11 strides, which isn’t my best but still pretty impressive.  
Dan looks up guiltily from the couch. “Sorry Phil, I didn’t think you’d be awake.”  
I mock gasp. “So, you were just planning to watch it without me and then pretend you’re watching it for the first time with me later? Shameful, Daniel. Shame.”  
As a punishment for his crimes, I decide to steal some of Dan’s cereal. He deserves it.   
“I’m coming over there once I make my coffee, and you’d better start this episode over for me.” I say through a mouthful of oats.  
He groans and gestures lazily to the remote, which is sitting on the other side of the couch. “But Philllllllll!”  
“No buts!” I snap jokingly, fixing myself coffee as my best friend the sloth flops over to the remote and rewinds the episode. We watch the episode together, laughing at the club’s latest antics. Occasionally I glance at Dan. He doesn’t seem as into it as usual, letting out only small chuckles at the jokes instead of his typical cute giggles and loud guffaws, but I brush it off. He’s already watched most of the episode, the humor has probably faded by now.  
After the episode, I get up and stretch, much to Dan’s surprise.   
“Where’re you going?” He asks, a bit slurred from the drowsiness that comes from sitting on a couch for a few hours.  
“Out,” I respond. “I figured, since I’m up so early, I may as well get stuff done. You’re welcome to join me. I’m thinking post office, grocery store, new socks, and I’m going to try to find something weird in Japantown.”  
I would really like him to come with me, he’s been shut up in our apartment ever since we got back from Japan. I’m not quite sure why, but I’m not worried. He’s done this before. Still, some fresh air and a strange Japanese product never hurt anyone. And I miss hanging out with him - in a totally platonic way, of course.  
He hesitates a moment before answering. “Um, actually, I think I’ll stay here.”  
I try not to let my disappointment show. “Oh, okay. Do you want me to pick something up for lunch?”  
“Sure.”  
“Anything in particular?” I ask.  
“Um,” he says, glancing up from his laptop. “I’ll just get whatever you’re getting.”  
Huh. Usually Dan hates when we order the same food, insisting that we’re “wasting the opportunity to buy more noms”. But he seems a little off this morning, so I’ll let it go.   
“Okay,” I respond, a bit more delicately than usual. “Call me if anything comes up.”  
He’s already sucked into his laptop and barely acknowledges when I leave. 

I’m sitting in Starbucks, a Selfridges bag next to me. I feel pretty awkward, sitting by myself. This feeling is not helped by the people around me giving me second looks, trying to place my face. I’m pretty used to that, but it still makes me uncomfortable. People see me and recognize me from the general Internet, but few people actually recognize me as AmazingPhil and the rest try to remember who I am.   
Luckily, I brought my laptop to do some editing. And by editing, I mean scroll mindlessly through tumblr on Dan’s “secret” account. He gave me the password a while ago, and although the fans know that Dan has an anonymous account, they don’t know I use it too. I come across a really well-done edit of Dan and I, which is not an unusual occurrence, but this one is especially realistic. It depicts the two of us standing in front of a sunset in some mystery location (Japan, maybe?) by a flowering tree. The lighting from the sun in the background makes it so that we’re only silhouettes, but our identities are obvious, as is the way that we’re apparently about to kiss. It’s quite lovely, but a shudder runs through me upon seeing it and I slam my laptop shut, earning scandalised looks from those around me.  
As I hurry out of Starbucks, I’m confused. What did that image trigger that made me so uneasy? I don’t remember anything along the lines of that photo happening in real life. Was it some repressed memory? Did Dan and I actually kiss at some point, and it just went so wrong that I buried the memory?   
I’m so flustered that I forget to pick up lunch for Dan, only remembering about it five minutes away from our building. I make my slow way up the stairs, opening our door with a small creak.  
“Hey Dan, sorry, I forgot to get you something - Dan?” I say to the empty kitchen. He seems to have moved.  
I walk up to his room and knock. “Dan? You in there?”  
No response.  
Perhaps he went out without telling me? Or maybe he did text me, but I just didn’t recieve it?  
I check my phone. No texts from Dan.  
I don’t want to be the overprotective mother and immediately worry about him, but I call his cell.  
The slightly irritating marimba ringtone fills the apartment. Wherever Dan is, he doesn’t have his phone. This certainly worries me. Dan doesn’t go anywhere without his phone, he made a whole video about it. I start walking around our apartment, calling for him.  
“Dan? Dan, are you even here? Dan, if you can hear me, this isn’t funny…”  
I make my way to his room and try to open the door. It’s locked.   
“Dan, is there a reason you locked your door? Are you watching porn or something? Dan, let me in…”  
I push on the door, but it doesn’t budge. I head back to the kitchen and start searching through the drawers for something to pick the lock, making as much noise as I can, just in case he is watching porn and needs some time to...uh...clean up.   
“Here we go,” I mumble to myself as I pull out a bobby pin that one of our girl friends must have misplaced. Bobby pin in hand, I walk back to Dan’s room.  
“Alright Dan, this isn’t funny!” I say again. “If you don’t open the door I’m going to pick the lock!”  
Silence.  
With my pulse a bit higher than usual and my palms slightly sweaty, I jam the bobby pin into the door knob and jiggle it around a bit. Predictably, I am terrible at picking locks and this doesn’t work. After a few tries, I manage to click the door open.  
His room looks like it always does, no signs of any emergency. I take a careful step in, noticing the absence of his laptop and a box of tissues, meaning that he wasn’t on a porn marathon. Part of me is relieved that I didn’t unintentionally walk in on my roommate watching porn, but at the same time my worry level rises. Where is he?  
I cross over to his bathroom, which connects to his bedroom. Once again, the door is locked. I almost start crying in frustration and worry, but I manage to pick that lock too. The door swings open, and I collapse.  
The world swims in front of me. It feels like my head has been suddenly drained of air and I’m dizzy. My eyes barely work, but what I can see doesn’t sink in. This can’t be real, I’m dreaming. Surely, this isn’t real. Because Dan is outside, off on some adventure, and that’s why he didn’t take his phone, not because he’s sprawled on the tiled floor. Because Dan is warm and happy, not cold and bloodless. Because Dan is my hilarious, supportive, loyal, amazing best friend, not someone who would be driven to such extreme measures.  
Because Dan is alive, right? Not this mannequin dressed like him face down on his bathroom floor, an empty prescription bottle in one hand and a thin glint of metal that I hope I’m wrong about in the other? Because this is definitely a mannequin, not the real Dan. Because I’m definitely wrong, he can’t be dead, my senses must be lying to me.   
I take another step forward to prove myself wrong, to contradict my eyes, and I bend down to what surely is a mannequin. My hands are shaking and everything is blurred and fuzzy, but I reach out to check his face   
and when my fingers touch   
human flesh,  
not shiny plastic,   
and when my eyes meet   
his lifeless brown ones that used   
to smile at me every day,   
my ears fill with   
a horrible scream that is   
so raw and emotional that   
it could wake the dead,   
and I hope that it will,  
and I realise that the scream came from   
my numb mouth that may   
or may not have kissed his,   
and the world swirls into   
darkness.


	3. Chapter 1.5: Dreaming

Chapter 1.5: Dreaming

DREAMING - FIRST DREAM  
I’m sitting at a small, round table. I’ve seen this room before, but I’m not sure where. The walls are covered in patterned scarves and fabrics, as are the many stout little lamps. Through a round window near me, I can see the sun setting over a kitschy-looking marketplace. This whole room seems familiar, but I can’t remember when I was here before.  
As though someone flipped a switch, an old lady appears in a chair across from me. Dan appears next to her. I’m hit with a strong emotion followed by a strong urge to hug him, but I don’t know why, so I suppress it.   
The old woman - I remember her name now, Madame Suoh - is chanting something. I can’t tell what she’s saying, and from the looks of it neither can Dan, but we both lean forward excitedly. She chants for about a minute, and then without warning I’m hit with an odd feeling. It’s as though my mind has been wiped completely, all thoughts replaced by an untraceable feeling of contentness.   
I’m sitting there happily, glancing at Dan, who seems to be in a similar way. His eyes look a bit glazed, but there’s a wide smile on his face. As we sit there, a single thought floats through my mind: Tell him.  
It sounds as though someone else is whispering it into my ear, someone with an aged, thin, slightly raspy voice. Tell him what? I think.  
Tell him. Tell him what you’ve been keeping from him. Tell him, the voice responds.  
I’m a bit puzzled, trying to think about what this voice is saying. Oh, of course! The meaning comes to me eventually. I should tell Dan, I should tell him about -   
“Hey Phil…” comes Dan’s somewhat slurred voice, interrupting my thoughts. “Hey...I think this is working…”  
He snickers drunkenly, and I remember why we’re seated in this little room. Madame Suoh had said she could hypnotise us. Dan had been skeptical, so of course he wanted her to prove it - and it appears that she has. Usually, the knowledge that I had been hypnotised would’ve been alarming, but right now it just seems amusing.  
“Hey Phil,” Dan repeats. “I...I’m going to tell you something...because she’s telling me to tell you something…”  
I guess we’ve both been told to tell each other a secret. He leans forward towards me, and I catch Madame Suoh grinning behind him. I feel his slightly ragged breaths on my ear.  
“Heyyy Philllll…” Dan says again, even more slurred than before. “I have a secret...can I tell you my secret?”  
I nod vaguely, barely holding back a snicker. Everything seems so funny for some reason.  
Dan leans even closer and I can almost feel his lips on my ear. “I...I have a secret…” he repeats. “My secret...my secret is that…”  
I catch his eye, and we both break out laughing. Everything just seems hilarious.   
Madame Suoh looks a bit impatient but stays silent, watching our whole conversation.  
With tears streaming down his face from laughing so hard, Dan finally starts speaking again. “H-h-heyyyy Philll!” He says between his laughter. “Heyy Phil! Philll! I...I want to die!”  
I’ve always loved Dan’s drunk jokes. We both start laughing again.  
Madame Suoh looks more concerned now, as though something that she has been planning for a while has backfired. She looks as though she’s going to step in and interrupt our laughter, but before she can Dan starts talking again between guffaws.  
“Philll! No, I’m serious!” He pauses to keep laughing. “No, really, Phil! I’m going to kill myself when we get home!”  
With that, any self-control that the two of us had had left is thrown out the window and we are both rolling on the floor in fits of laughter. Through my laughing, I can hear Madame Suoh chanting again. As her chanting gets louder, I feel tired and my loud laughter quiets to a couple giggles.   
My strange stoned feeling starts fading and the gravity of the situation becomes more clear. I’m lying on the floor of some fortune-telling hypnotist shop next to my best friend who has just admitted that he’s extremely suicidal. I turn to face him, to reach out to him, and I see that his expression of gentle bliss has been replaced with utmost horror as he too becomes aware of whatever just happened. I try to stand up so that I can talk to Dan and help him through this, but I’m just so tired. My limbs feel like lead, and soon the only noise I can hear is Madame Suoh’s deep chanting.  
My mind feels stuffed with cotton. I want to help Dan, but I just can’t move. I try to fight the white noise that’s invading my thoughts, but I’m too weak, and everything fades to darkness.  
DREAMING - SECOND DREAM  
I’m scared. Why am I scared? I don’t know. But I’m terrified. And it’s dark. Where am I? I don’t know.  
Without warning, the darkness morphs into a colorful scene. I’m sitting in a squashy little chair. Brightly colored fabrics drape from the walls, scarves droop over shiny lamps and everything has a deep red tint. I’m back in the same room as before, but the lighting is different. It’s much lighter, and there’s more sunlight filtering through the windows. It’s as though the first scene, which I believe was a dream, was later in the same day.  
Suddenly, the silence is broken. A tiny old woman appears, fiddling with some tea on the table in front of me. Dan is helping her. I try to cry out to Dan, to tell him that I care about him, that I want to help him, but I’m frozen. Dan interacts with me and the lady, but it’s like I’m stuck in someone else’s body. My arms and legs move without volition.   
Everything is moving at twice normal speed. Dan and I help the little old lady with the tea. We’re all speaking, but I can’t understand it, it’s too fast. She lays out cards on the tables, and we both pick one. We drink our tea. She takes our mugs and flips them over. I feel like a robot. Throughout the sped-up scene, I try to break whatever spell I’m under. I try to reach out to Dan, to see the demons that he’s hiding, but my robot self doesn’t let me. Everything happening seems so familiar, but I can’t put my finger on it.  
The little old lady starts waving her hands over the mugs, speaking too fast for me to comprehend. Abruptly, she reaches out for the mugs and flips them over. She turns to me and chants something, but I can’t interpret her rapid speech. She then turns to Dan and chants something, and from his face it obviously creeped him out, but I still don’t hear it.   
All of the sudden, time returns to normal. I can hear what everyone is saying - even myself. Apparently I’ve been talking this whole time, without my own consent.   
“Should we just...go?” Dan asks. “I mean, I think she’s just kinda...off in her world…”  
“Madame Suoh?” I say. So that’s what her name is. It’s very unnerving to hear my voice speak words that hadn’t passed my mind. Whoever this woman is, she’s slumped in her armchair, muttering silently, and pays no attention to me. “Should we call someone? Like, is she okay?”  
Dan nods. “Yeah, I’ll go see if anyone outside knows what’s going on.”  
He’s almost at the door when Madame Suoh shoots up from her chair, rigidly straight. Dan and I both stop and watch her.   
“Tick, tock, ten days. Tick, tock, ten days. Tick, tock, ten days,” she chants. Why is this all so familiar to me?  
“Madame Suoh?” Dan almost has to yell over her chanting. “Madame Suoh, thank you very much, but we’re just going to-”  
She practically flies over to him and grabs his shoulders. Inside I am screaming, but my robot self stays silent. “Tick, tock, ten days! Tick, tock, ten days!”  
“Phil!” Dan cries out in shock. Finally, the spell over me breaks and I run toward him, but suddenly I’m walking through water. I’m back in robot mode and I can’t move. The water is drowning me, blocking my eyes. All I can hear are Dan’s cries for help, and that repeated chant. Tick, tock, ten days. Tick, tock, ten days. Tick, tock, ten days. TICK, TOCK, TEN DAYS. TICK, TOCK, TEN DAYS. I’m frozen, I can’t move, I’m drowning, I’m blind-  
“KISS KISS, FALL IN LOVE!”  
WHAT?!


	4. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Ten Days

I wake up, shooting straight upward. At first I’m confused as to where I am. I’m in my bed, but I don’t remember getting into bed last night after...after…  
The memory comes flooding in. Coming home to a silent apartment. Breaking into Dan’s room. Dan, lying on his own bathroom floor. Dan, dead, blood dripping gently from his wrists, an empty pill bottle in one hand and a razor in the other. My own screaming filling the small bathroom. Collapsing onto the cool tile and then - the memory stops.  
How did I end up in bed? I curl up under my comforter, trying to block everything out. How could Dan be dead? How could I have been so stupid as to not have noticed the signs? How could I have let him reach that point?  
My thoughts are interrupted suddenly by a perky guitar riff.  
“MAYBE YOU’RE MY LOVE!”  
What? That doesn’t make sense. If Dan’s dead, then who’s watching Ouran High School Host Club? And as I think this, the events of yesterday finally settle in. Dan, my best friend for years, is dead. He literally killed himself. All other thoughts of someone else in my apartment leave my mind and I have difficulty breathing. I will never see him again. I start to cry, tears peppering my comforter in small dark spots. Over the years I’ve mastered the art of silent tears, but this is far too major to cry quietly about. Harsh sobs wrack through me and I rock back and forth. And it’s not cute crying either. Snot drips from my nose, my entire face is damp with tears and my mouth is open in that unattractive crying way.   
I reach for my phone to text one of our friends. They probably don’t know what happened, and maybe we can cry together. I’m about to send a message to Charlie when -   
“Phil? Is that you?”  
I almost have a heart attack. Was that - was that Dan?  
“Phil, are you okay in there?” Someone - no, Dan - knocks on my door.  
Hurriedly, I wipe my face and try to speak normally. “Y-yeah, I’m fine…”  
The door opens and sure enough, Dan is standing there. I can hear the opening scene of Ouran in the background - the same episode we watched yesterday. He looks concerned.   
“Phil, were you...crying?”  
I don’t answer. I’m too shocked to speak. Dan can’t be standing there in my doorway - no, I’m still asleep. I’m still dreaming. This isn’t real. I pinch myself, but he doesn’t fade away. I walk up to him and poke him, not caring if it makes him suspicious. He feels real.  
“Phil…” Dan says. “What are you doing?”  
I jump back abruptly. He’s definitely real - but how?  
Dan tries to brush off the awkward moment and chuckles lightly, but I can tell he’s slightly weirded out. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”  
Because you are a ghost, Dan. You can’t be real. You’re dead, you killed yourself, you swallowed the pills and you slit your wrists and I saw it, Dan. I saw your dead body on the tiled bathroom floor. You were my best friend and I somehow didn’t notice how you were slipping away from me. I didn’t step in. I should’ve stepped in when your laughs got more forced. I should’ve stepped in when you stopped eating as much. I should’ve stepped in, Dan, and I’m sorry.  
But I don’t say any of this. I swallow the words that build in my throat and I push back the tears that spring to my eyes. Instead of saying anything, I simply hug him and walk by. He looks confused by my sudden hug, but it’s all I can do until I figure out what’s going on.  
As we sit through the anime together, crunching quietly on cereal, I try to piece things together. What could possibly be happening to me? Was yesterday some twisted nightmare? That seems like the only explanation, but I’ve never had such a realistic dream. Suddenly, I remember - I slipped and scraped my knee yesterday while running to the kitchen. Carefully, I roll up my pant leg. Dan gives me an odd look but sure enough, the angry red mark from my rug burn is still there.  
This isn’t a dream. And neither was yesterday. Dan was dead - but now he isn’t. I don’t know why, but somehow I don’t question my situation. Despite the impossibility sitting next to me on my couch, things make sense. Honestly, it couldn’t make less sense, but things seem clear to me: Yesterday and today are the same day. I’m reliving yesterday. To Dan, yesterday didn’t happen. Today is the only form of today for him.   
But does that mean he’s going to die again? Or is this my chance to stop him, to remind him why life is worth living? I’m not sure I can do it. I’d be lying if I said I’ve never contemplated suicide before. There have been some darker periods in my life, but they just kind of passed over. There was no turnaround, no sudden realization, it’s just that the darkness had simply started dissipating. Of course I’m going to make some effort to help him, to prevent the trauma of yesterday, but I don’t know how.  
The obvious path to take would be to confront him, to force his sleeves up, to steal his razors and hide all the pills in the apartment. But through my experiences with friends, fans and even myself, I know that won’t work. Confronting him would be like blaming him. If I tried forcing him to get better I would be blaming him for something he certainly didn’t ask for.   
But what can I do? I’ve talked to fans before about depression, and I’m pretty sure I managed to help at least a bit, but this is different. This is Dan, not someone who, although I care about and am grateful for, I will never see again. I can’t afford to mess up - as far as I know, this is my one chance to save Dan.   
The next episode starts. My mind is racing, bringing up countless ideas to help my best friend, each one more feeble than the last. While I’m sitting on the couch with Dan, mutely eating cereal, I realise that that’s the best thing I can do: stay with him. Nobody would put their best friend through the trauma of watching their own suicide. If I don’t leave, neither will he.   
Nevertheless, I’m not sure how I’ll be able to pull this off without being suspicious. How far am I willing to go? Can I even let him use the bathroom on his own? He surely wouldn’t let me anyway…  
Dan is giving me wary glances and I realise I’ve been so distracted by my thoughts that I didn’t realise I had finished my cereal and was delivering spoonfuls of milk into my mouth. “Um, Phil...what are you doing?”  
Hastily, I drop my spoon, attempting to paper over the sticky moment with a dry chuckle. “I guess I just like milk. Hey, are you done too? D’you want me to take your bowl in?”  
He grins lightly, mollified, and hands me his bowl of milk. I put them in the dishwasher, clattering the dishes a bit more than usual due to my slightly trembling hands.   
“Are you making a coffee?” Dan asks from the couch.  
“Yeah,” I answer, taking one of the ten clean mugs. “And I can make you one too.”  
I return to the couch with two mugs of coffee clutched carefully in my hands. Dan takes his and turns his attention back onto the club’s latest adventures. I pretend to be invested in the show as well, but I can’t help noticing his almost constant sideways glances at me. It’s as though he’s waiting for me to leave, to go on some errands. Or maybe he glances at me anyway; I actually had caught him looking at me a few times in the past few weeks.  
I get the hint. He thinks I’m going to leave, giving him the perfect opportunity to...you know. But I won’t allow it. I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to stay here with him, I’m not going to lose him again, I’m not leaving him alone.  
We sit watching anime for at least two hours. Every so often I peer at Dan, wondering if we’ll just end up watching anime all day. It wouldn’t bother me to stay on the couch all day if that ends up being what Dan wants to do, but I’m tempted to engage in some sort of activity.  
As we approach our ninth consecutive episode of OHSHC, I finally speak. “Hey Dan, d’you wanna play a board game or something?”  
He grunts noncommittally in response, so I decide to take it as a yes and pull out our ancient Monopoly board. Dan slides off the couch to help me set it up and I giggle slightly at his ridiculous money system. He works silently, making sure that each crisp paper bill is perfectly aligned with the others.  
Once Dan’s money is organized, we start our game. It feels a little silly, two guys in their twenties with full-time jobs playing a child’s board game, but everything in our lives feels a little silly. Throughout the game, I can almost forget yesterday. The heavy fact that the person sitting across from me would rather kill himself than keep living with his demons is almost erased. My new awareness of this fact almost dissipates. Almost.  
Towards the end of our game, with Dan dominating most of the board and with my money pile dwindling dangerously, Dan excuses himself to go to the bathroom. I had already predicted this happening. I assumed that once Dan realizes that I’m not going anywhere anytime soon, he’d try to pry himself away from me in the least suspicious way possible. I think that Dan really has tried holding on for me, that he has made an enormous effort to get better on his own, but that today is his breaking point. Looking back, I can remember days where he seemed really down, and I now recognize those days as almost-breaking-points. I imagine that he’d tried to hold on, but on those certain days for whatever reason, he simply couldn’t handle it. Those days could’ve been suicide days, but for some reason they weren’t. I imagine that once Dan passed those days, he felt a bit better. He felt like he had gotten over it. Unfortunately, I can see now that his suicide day hadn’t gone away: it had simply been postponed, and today was the last chance.  
I had planned what I would do if he tried to leave. I would tell him to be back soon, so as not to raise suspicions, and once he had closed the bathroom door I would stand outside, just in case I needed to intervene. But as Dan rises from the floor awkwardly, stretching out a bit, and makes his way to the bathroom, I can’t move. My plan has simply disappeared. It seems so stupid and transparent and I can’t bear to act on it. What if he actually does just have to pee, and when he comes out of the bathroom I’ll just be standing there? What if I’m just overthinking this? How do I explain this to him? “Oh hey Dan, didn’t mean to bother you while you were using the bathroom, I was just concerned that you were going to off yourself because I’ve already lived through this day and you did just that.”  
Self-doubt plagues me as I sit on the carpet, waiting for Dan to return from the bathroom. The little Monopoly hotels seem to swim before my eyes, and I’m frozen, transfixed. My mind is racing, battling between going up to the bathroom door and staying on the floor. Part of me knows the true reason why I don’t want to wait outside the door: I don’t want to acknowledge that everything really happened. There’s still a little piece of me that’s living in ignorance. That little piece is still convinced that yesterday was a dream, that Dan doesn’t want to die, and that little piece is terrified of being proved wrong.  
So of course, that little piece wins. I stay on the carpet.  
And of course, that little piece was wrong.  
Because I sit on that carpet for far too long.  
Because I sit on that carpet for at least half an hour.  
Because when I go to the nearest bathroom to check on Dan, he’s not there.  
Because when I run up to Dan’s room, prepared with a bobby pin, I have to pick the lock again.  
Because when I reach his bathroom door, I have to pick that lock too.  
Because when I finally open the bathroom door, I collapse again.  
Because when I open the bathroom door, that little piece of me, living in sweet ignorance, is proved very, very wrong.  
Because on that bathroom floor, just like yesterday, Dan is lying facedown on the tile.  
Because just like yesterday, I was too late.  
Because just like yesterday, Dan is dead.  
Again.


	5. Chapter 2.5: Dreaming

Chapter 2.5: Dreaming

 

FIRST DREAM  
It’s dark again, but a different kind of darkness. This darkness isn’t so thorough, and I can sort of see my surroundings. I’m seated on a stone bench, and the air is full of the smell of cherry blossoms. The sky is a rich shade of dark blue, the color that fills the sky after a beautiful sunset. Dan is sitting quietly next to me. It appears that we’ve been watching the sun go down.  
We sit together silently, but it’s not an awkward kind of silence. There’s simply nothing to say, and we both recognize that, and neither of us feel the need to speak when everything has been said. We’re both tired from a long day of exploring Japan, and we’re happy to sit and enjoy each others company.  
After a few minutes of gentle quietness, with the dark blue sky deepening to an inky black, Dan turns to face me.   
“Phil, I’ve been thinking.”  
“That’s never a good sign,” I respond with a light chuckle.   
He quiets me with a look that said very clearly, This is no laughing matter. “See, Phil, I just - just promise not to laugh, okay? I mean - this has been on my mind - on my mind for a while now, and…”  
“What?” I ask, as delicately as I can. This obviously means a lot to him, and it looks like it’s hard to say.  
He looks me in the eye, and I can tell that he’s terrified to say whatever it is he wants to say. “I just...god, this is so much harder to say than I had thought…”  
He pauses and takes a deep breath, then continues.   
“Remember when we first met, and I was just so excited to meet you that I practically knocked you down?”  
I nod. The memory is vivid and almost always makes me laugh to think about, but I stay serious so that Dan has enough courage to continue.  
“Well…” He starts again. “That feeling of excitement hasn’t faded. Oh my god, this is so cheesy, but like...like - you mean so much to me, Phil, and I know I don’t tell you this enough, because I’m such a thick buffoon and I just...I just want you to know that I really care about you, as a friend of course, and that I’m just happy that you haven’t given up on me yet…”  
He looks at me, searching for any sign of rejection or disgust, but there’s nothing like that going through my mind. Instead, I’m just so happy. I have no idea how to respond, because I feel the same way but I can’t reuse his words, so I lean forward to hug him.   
“Me too,” I say, with my arms wrapped around my best friend.  
As soon as I say this, I can feel him relax against me. We stay like that for a few minutes, with his head on my shoulder and mine on his, until I feel him shaking slightly.  
“Dan - are you crying?”  
He pulls away from me and tries to hide his face, but I yank his arm away, revealing shining tear tracks.  
“Dan, what...what’s wrong?” My question seems weak compared to how distraught Dan looks, but he answers anyway.  
“I just...whatever happens, whatever stupid things I do, remember that I - I do it because I care, okay?”  
This makes little sense to me, but I nod. “Of course, Dan, of course.”   
I try to pull him back into a hug, but his arms hang loosely by his sides and the hug turns into Dan’s head awkwardly resting on my shoulder. However, he makes no effort to move, and I can’t find the heart to make him.   
We sit together, with Dan’s head on my shoulder, until the scene in front of me starts to blur. A dark glow starts filling my vision and my brain feels fuzzy, but before I’m able to do anything other than widen my eyes in alarm, the blackness engulfs me and everything fades into blackout.  
SECOND DREAM  
The blackness surrounds me, until suddenly it blends into a second scene - a scene I’m already too familiar with. I’m back in the kitchy psychic shop, with its droopy scarves and stuffy incense.   
This is just like my dream yesterday.  
The same old woman, Madame Suoh, breaks the thick silence by suddenly appearing and fiddling with tea. Once again, Dan is helping her. This time, I try to contact Dan in order to hug him again, to hold him close like in my last dream, so as to show him I care, but once again I’m frozen.  
The sped-up scene plays again, exactly like last time: we help Suoh with the tea, everyone is talking and interacting, she tries to read our tea leaves and says something creepy to the two of us, and all the while I try to break out of my robotic spell.   
Once again, without warning, time returns to normal. I can hear what everyone is saying - even myself. Again, I’ve been talking this whole time, without my own consent.   
“Should we just...go?” Dan asks. “I mean, I think she’s just kinda...off in her world…”  
“Madame Suoh?” I say. Well, I don’t say it, but my prescripted self does. “Should we call someone? Like, is she okay?”  
Dan nods. “Yeah, I’ll go see if anyone outside knows what’s going on.”  
He’s almost at the door when Madame Suoh shoots up from her chair, rigidly straight. Dan and I both stop and watch her. It’s infuriating, knowing what’s about to happen but being unable to stop it.  
“Tick, tock, nine days. Tick, tock, nine days. Tick, tock, nine days,” she chants. Hold on - wasn’t it ten days last time?  
“Madame Suoh?” Dan almost has to yell over her chanting. “Madame Suoh, thank you very much, but we’re just going to-”  
She nearly knocks him over, rushing towards him and clutching his shoulders. “Tick, tock, nine days! Tick, tock, nine days!”  
“Phil!” Dan cries out in shock. Immediately, the spell over me breaks. Even though I know what will happen, I run towards him to help - but I’m too late. Suddenly I’m back in robot mode, but I’m running through water. The water is drowning me, blocking my eyes. All I can hear are Dan’s cries for help, and that repeated chant. Tick, tock, nine days. Tick, tock, nine days. Tick, tock, nine days. TICK, TOCK, NINE DAYS. TICK, TOCK, NINE DAYS. I’m frozen, I can’t move, I’m drowning, I’m blind-  
“KISS KISS, FALL IN LOVE!”  
AGAIN?!


	6. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is kinda short don't be mad i just needed to crank out another chapter and the idea i had was less meaty than i had predicted  
> but there may be some smut in the next chapter eyyyyyyy

Chapter 3: Nine Days

At this point, I don’t even know why I’m surprised to be woken up by the rather obnoxious anime theme song. Out of instinct, I suppose, I shoot up from the dark cocoon of my comforter and into the latest recreation of today.  
I take a minute to gather my thoughts. Yesterday (does it still count as yesterday if it’s the same day as today?), I did not succeed in saving Dan. I wasted - no, I misused my opportunity to help him, but fortunately today is another chance. However, I know that I can’t always rely on having another day. I don’t know how long this time loop will last.  
So what will I do today? What will I do this time? What grand, heroic intervention will I cause?  
I’m drawing a blank here.  
While I’m contemplating possible intervention strategies under the shelter of my comforter, Dan knocks gently on the door. That’s strange, how could he have known I was awake?  
I check the clock. 9:00?! Already?! No wonder Dan came to check up on me, I normally leave my room by 8:00. Was I really brainstorming for that long?  
“Hey Phil,” Dan calls through the door. “Are you up yet?”  
Before I can respond, he opens the door slightly. I like to sleep in my underwear, so he walks in on my laying on top of my comforter in just my boxers. If Dan were anyone else, this could’ve been awkward, but we’re long past being uncomfortable with each other, so I’m not concerned. But - this is new - Dan looks a bit embarrassed. He looks away pointedly, although (it might just be my imagination) I almost catch him sneaking glances every few moments.  
Strange.  
“Yes?” I ask.  
“Oh - sorry, I thought you were still sleeping - I’ll just - I’ll just leave you then - “ He backs out of my room and closes the door firmly behind him.  
Odd. Dan hasn’t stuttered that much since we first met. Years later, he confided that the stuttering was caused by nerves from “being so near someone so alluring” (his words, not mine).  
I curse myself for letting my mind get sidetracked as I finally roll out of bed and start getting ready. Again, I don't know how many tries I'm going to get. I can't afford to waste any.   
Before I face Dan in the kitchen, I stop and think of a gameplan. I decide that at least for today, I am going to make things all about him. I need to let Dan know that I really do care about him - but I can't be obvious. Let's see, let's see...Maybe I'll let him pick our morning anime. I can attempt to find some of his missing socks. Honestly, I've looked through my own tumblr tag enough to have gleaned plenty of cutesy things our subscribers like to think I do for Dan. I'm not planning on leaving love notes in random places around our apartment, but perhaps a quick scrolling through tumblr wouldn't hurt my brainstorm.   
There I am, scrolling innocently, when I see it again - that photo, the one presumably meant to be from Japan, where Dan and I are clearly about to kiss in front of a cherry tree. It's - obviously - fake, but I have to say it's quite good. Very realistic...  
That same shudder runs through me and I snap my laptop shut - but not before I catch the time. 11:39.   
I HAD BEEN ON TUMBLR FOR TWO AND A HALF HOURS?!  
I nearly knock my laptop onto the floor in my rush to find Dan, to make sure he is okay, to make sure he knows I care -  
I nearly slam into the counter on my way into the kitchen. Once I resurface from my new position sprawled on the floor, I realise something that I didn't want to know: Dan isn't in the living room. He isn't watching Netflix, or slumped in front of his laptop, or making lunch in our kitchen, or anything Dan would've typically be doing.   
Praying that he is okay, I hurry to his room. But the door is locked. And I know I'm too late. I slump into his door, crying, ready to wake up again to that song.   
But the only sounds are my gasping sobs. Why, I think. Why won't you let me leave, to try again? And as I sit there, having lost my best friend once again, the cruel reality sets in.   
"I have to see it, don't I?" I say aloud, even though nobody is listening. "I have to see him. Because this isn't bad enough. Because it's not hard enough that I KNOW he's dead, I have to SEE it too?"  
There's no response.   
My vision goes fuzzy, but I manage to stumble back into the kitchen to find the hairpin. All I can see is a blur of colors as I pick the locks, first on the bedroom and then on the bathroom.   
And suddenly my sight clears, and I see him, and though I know what I will find I still collapse, because he's still dead. Because I failed, because I let him go again.   
And this time, when I reach him, I am thankful that the music starts. I am glad that it is over. I am glad to try again.


	7. Chapter 3.5: Dreaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there are two cameos in this chapter by my friends on wattpad who helped out a lot they're @AFOSTOR7 and @AlmostBeyonce on wattpad you should check them out
> 
> also eyyyyy i finally wrote smut lmao

CHAPTER 3.5: DREAMING  
first dream   
Dan and I stumble, breathless, back into the hotel. I can feel the stupid grin on my face, and it only widens when I look down to our entwined hands, but I don't care. We walk quickly across the lobby, desperate to make it to the elevators, nodding sheepishly at the receptionist as she smiles knowingly at us.   
The elevator door is hardly closed before I pull him closer to me and kiss him, finally. We break apart, with those goofy grins still plastered onto our faces.   
"I've wanted to do that," Dan says, slightly out of breath, "for such a long time."  
Instead of agreeing with words, I decide to kiss him again, this time harder. I bring my hands up to his hair, which had started curling in the heat, while his arms wrap around my waist to pull me in. His tongue - soft, tentative, almost unsure - flicks over my teeth, as though asking for entry. I part my lips and let him in, slipping my own tongue into his mouth. I'm sure he can feel my smile against his lips.   
Through some unspoken agreement, we move against the wall of the elevator, with Dan's back against the wooden panels. He hooks his fingers through my belt loops, yanking me closer. I pull away from his mouth to kiss his neck, which causes him to emit such a loud moan that I step back in surprise. Before I can ask him what it was, we stop at a random floor and a taller black girl, her hair in tight braids and pulled back with a scrunchie, got onto the elevator.  
Thankfully she doesn't recognize our flushed cheeks or Dan's messy hair, obvious signs that we were definitely making out, for she was jabbering away to someone on her phone.   
"Geez, Tyler, I'm on my way up now! Yes, yes, of course I'll give you feedback on your attack of the titans fic or whatever it's called - BUT only if you help me brainstorm my next chapter! What should Connor's reaction to Jude moving away be? Yes, yes, I know, but..."  
The girl pauses, finally noticing that there were two other people in the elevator. Her eyes widen. "Tyler!" She whisper-shouts into her phone. "I'm going to text you, okay?" With that, she hangs up her phone and resolves to standing quietly, trying to stare without being obvious.   
Dan and I glance at each other. She'll ask for a picture at some point.   
Sure enough, right before we get off at our floor, she calls out, "Hey! C-can I get a p-picture with you guys?"  
We take our selfie, and as we walk away we hear her talking to her friend again.   
"Tyler! It was really them! Here, I'm sending you the photo...no - what do you mean they look weird? Of course they're flushed, it's hot out! And I'm sure Dan's hair is messy because...because...OH MY GOD YOU'RE RIGHT!"  
Dan and I have to stifle our giggles as we walk down the hall. He whispers to me, "Let's give her something to tell all her friends about, eh?"  
As soon as I nod, he takes my hand again.   
"Oh my god - Tyler! TYLER! Here - ugh, let me get you a photo - aha! Look! Hnnnnnnng, oh my god, oh my go -"  
The elevator door closes again and we burst out laughing.   
"'Oh my god, oh my god!'" I parrot.   
"Tyler - oh my god, they're HOLDING HANDS?! WHAT?!" Dan says in a ridiculous version of her voice.   
We reach the hotel room. There's an awkward pause. Dan glances shyly at me, and I realise that nothing will happen unless I initiate it. I turn to him, take a deep breath, and say what I've wanted to say for far too long.   
"I want you." My voice is almost unrecognizable, low and gravelly, dangerously close to sexual.   
I had predicted that Dan wouldn't take me seriously, that he would laugh and say I was too adorable to be seductive, but to my surprise his eyes become the perfect mixture of innocent, surprised and definitely turned on.   
Taking this as an invitation to keep going, to take the reins, I open the door, pulling him in by his shirt. The door slams behind us, and I push him into it, pressing an open-mouthed kiss into his mouth, dominating his tongue with my own. He tries grabbing my ass, but, without breaking lip lock, I pin his wrists above his head. Dan breathes a little moan into my mouth. The kissing in the elevator was passionate, yes, but still gentle and unsure. This is rougher, more passionate, almost hungry.   
I am definitely liking being Dominant Phil.   
I pull away from him, relishing in his dazed, ecstatic expression. Slowly, I make my way over to the bathroom, and only when I creak open the door does Dan realize that I left.   
"Phil, what're you doing?"  
His voice, all husky and soft and fluttery in a way I've never heard it before, makes me smirk while I rummage through the cabinets.   
"Just looking for...this," I say, holding up a small colored tube. To my satisfaction, Dan is still pressed against the door where I left him, arms still above his head, looking breathless and wanting. "A nice Japanese hotel like this, I figured they'd have put lube in the bathrooms. Condoms too."  
Dan watches me shake the little packet, eyes widening. "Yes..." He whispers, reaching out for me.   
He's making no effort to hide the growing bulge in his black jeans.   
I smirk, dropping the items onto his bed. "But we won't be need these until I say so."  
With that, I take his hand again and lead him over to my bed. He falls onto it, pulling me on top of him in a way that forces me to straddle him. Only a few layers of fabric separate his soon-to-be-hard-on from mine. The sudden friction makes him moan, grabbing my face and kissing me desperately.   
Our kissing is hungry, full of need. His hands find the edge of my shirt and crawl underneath, skating hot paths onto my skin, while I tangle my hands into his hair. His lips are still slightly chapped from the plane ride, but I don't mind as I suck on the bottom one, letting him nip gently at my top, loving how I can feel him starting to groan quietly. He continues forcing my shirt up, running his hands over my torso.   
I remember his reaction in the elevator when I kissed his neck, so I try again. He moans louder as I suck soft bruises under his jawline, down his neck, and as far down his shoulder as that stupid doge t-shirt allows me. Bothered by this new restriction, I stop kissing him long enough to pull his shirt over his head.   
He's beautiful, so vulnerable and soft, full of nothing but this moment. I stop to savor the view, but Dan yanks me back down, unbuttoning my own shirt as he goes. With a swift motion, my lips never leaving contact with his neck, I slip the shirt from my shoulders, leaving my bare chest to touch his.   
It's clear that my attention to his neck has made Dan harder than before. He starts bucking up his hips, desperate for friction. Little whines start escaping him between kisses. I put a finger to his lips.   
"Shhh, be good and you'll be glad."  
He stops bucking and I smile, implying that if he keeps still like this then I plan to reward him, and return to his sensitive neck. I start gently rolling my hips, pressing my pelvis into his. Dan practically melts, kissing me frantically, sucking on my bottom lip. His hands are wobbly as they card through my hair, giving me a little quiff. Dan reaches for the zip on my jeans, but I bat his hands away, holding them above his head instead. His breath catches again and I smile into his neck.   
"You like that? When I take control?" I whisper. He licks his lips, nodding.   
After about another minute of hickeys, I release his hands and start moving down his torso, planting little kisses as I go. I can hear Dan whimpering again as I get closer and closer to his belt. I stop directly above his zipper and glance up to his face. His eyes are pleading, wanting nothing more than for me to relieve him, melting into relief when I start unbuckling his belt. I unbutton with my hand but I manage to pull the zipper down with my teeth, something I wasn't entirely sure I would be able to do but makes Dan whine even louder.   
He helps me to pull his pants off, revealing a tent in his boxers.   
"Please, Phil," he gasps, eyes almost closed, "just...take care of it -"  
His words are interrupted as I start palming him through the thin fabric. His outline is hard against my hand, and the little gasps from his mouth are coming quicker. With an impish smirk, I pull his boxers down. Dan hisses as the cold air grazes his flesh but presents himself to me, as though begging me to suck him.   
"What do you want, Danny boy?" I murmur.   
"I want you to...to..." He tries pushing my head down onto his cock but again, I pin him arms by his sides.   
"I can't help you if you don't use your words," I sneer. It couldn't have been clearer that Dan loves being dominated, and I'm happy to oblige.  
"Just...just - I want to...to...I want to fuck your mouth!"  
I raise one eyebrow appraisingly.   
He looks down at me with half-closed eyes. "Please?"  
I smile rewardingly.   
I've never actually given a blowjob, but I do know what I like, so I plan to use this knowledge to make him basically beg.   
I start at the tip, pressing my lips gently into the head, almost kissing it. Dan's eyes flutter shut and I can feel his whole body vibrate with a moan. Confident that no matter what I do, he'll still be satisfied, I run my tongue down the length of his shaft, nearly reaching his balls, before sliding back up and swiping my tongue across the head. I do this a few times before adding my hands, carefully squeezing his balls and occasionally wandering down to graze his asshole, all while licking up, down, and across his hard cock.   
He's breathing very heavily now, and each time I reach his tip I can see his head thrown back. Without warning, I put my entire mouth around him, continuing to swirl my tongue over his tip. Dan groans loudly at the sudden sensation of being inside my mouth. He peers down to me and I meet his eyes, grinning evilly as best I can with my lips around him.   
I can feel him getting close. His breaths come faster, more labored. His hands are pulling at my hair.   
"Phil..." He gasps, "I'm-I'm so close, I just..."  
I pull my mouth away from him, sitting up. "Oh Dan, but it's not your turn yet."   
Using his shocked silence to my advantage, I roll him onto his stomach. He shudders, reflexively lifting his ass in the air to avoid his cock being crushed.   
"That's a good boy, just a bit higher," I say, encouraging him to raise his hips up more for a better angle. While he's still occupied by the confusion of being moments away from an orgasm and then suddenly being told to raise his ass, I grab the lube and condom from his bed.   
"Phil..." He moans weakly. "What're you - " Dan sees the objects next to me. "Oh god, I - oh my god, please, I want you so badly, please..."  
I smile wickedly. "Of course I'm going to give you what you want, but first do as you're told and stick your pretty ass in the air."  
He obliges, and I coat my fingers in the clear gel. "Now, this may be a bit cold and uncomfortable at first," I whisper, placing my hand on his back, "but it's so I can fuck you, alright?"  
Dan nods meekly, obviously not caring if it meant that I could fuck him.   
And with that, I stick one finger in.   
Dan's reaction is immediate and predictable. He clenches all of his muscles, hissing slightly, and though I do feel bad for him I can't help but think how incredible it would feel to have my dick squeezed like this. I lean forward, whispering soothingly.   
"You're doing so well, bear," I say softly, slowly pumping my finger in and out. Once he's relaxed a bit, I add a second finger, this time scissoring them. Suddenly he jolts. His dick, which had softened a bit in its neglection, perked up a bit.   
"Fuck, Phil, what was that?"  
"Why?" I ask, concerned. "Did it hurt? Do you want me to stop?"  
He twists around to look at me, and I can see the pure desire in his face. "No, you spork, do it again!"  
I continue pumping my fingers, and soon I put in a third. His cock is hardening again, since every few pumps I hit what I now believe to be his prostate.   
Eventually he reaches for me. "No more...this...I want...you..." Dan says, panting heavily.   
I raise one eyebrow.   
"Please, Phil..."  
He turns to face me as I struggle out of my jeans, taking advantage of my arms being preoccupied and sucking a hickey into my neck.  
"Revenge for earlier," he whispers playfully, gesturing to the new bruises along his torso. By this point my pants are on the floor, leaving me in just my briefs. He may have made me pay for what I had done earlier, but I am the one in control here. I'm not letting him forget that.   
I push him back down, pressing my lips onto his. He reaches for me briefs, trying to pull them down, but I grab his hands.   
"Oh, no no no, bad boy. You don't get to touch until I say so." I pin his wrists above his head, continuing to kiss him. Once I start on his neck again, I release his hands, guiding them back to my briefs. He starts to palm me through the cotton, making me realize just how hard I was growing throughout all of this.   
I reach down to his hands and start tugging my briefs down. Dan pulls them off as I wrap my hand around his cock, earning me a sharp intake of breath and more whining from him. Stroking tantalisingly slow, I whisper to him, "What do you want? Tell me...what do you want?"   
He opens his eyes long enough to lock onto mine, and moans out one word. "You."  
I take my hand away, reaching for the lube and condom and pressing them into his hands. He flips us over and rolls the condom on. The contact makes me shiver. Dan smiles impishly, squirting the lube onto his hand and starting to rub it onto me. My breath catches at his touch, and all too soon his hand is gone.   
This time I flip us over. I take us over to the edge of the bed and step off, leaving him lying there. I lean over and hook my arms under his shoulders, lifting him to a sitting position. He leans into me again, catching me in another kiss. My hands move to his shoulders and his to my hips, spreading his legs and pulling me closer.   
"Are you sure?" I whisper, kissing him hard.   
Dan simply nods and spreads his legs wider, panting and groaning under my lips. I secure my arms under his legs, almost lifting him, as he moves forward. His arms wrap around my neck and he kisses me deeply as I line my tip up to his entrance.   
"Are you sure?" I ask again.   
This time, in response, he simply moans out, "Christ Phil just fuck me please...just fuck me until I scream your name...just fuck me please..."  
And how could I say no to that pretty face?  
Slowly, I push into him. The feeling is incomparable and tears a loud moan from my mouth. Dan groans from the intrusion, but after I leave it in for about thirty seconds he relaxes. I pull back out and he reaches up to kiss me. "You're doing so well, bear," I murmur, pushing back in.   
His groaning is muffled my mouth, but I can feel it vibrate through me. After a few more thrusts, I find his sweet spot again and he jerks out of our kiss.   
"Phil - oh my god - Phil - FUCK!"  
I start thrusting faster, managing to hit Dan's prostate every other pump. My breaths start becoming shallow, feeling the heat start pooling in my stomach.   
"Fuck - Phil I'm so - oh - I'm close -"  
He starts making these breathy, almost girly little moans, scrabbling at my back like a drowning man grabbing a life vest. "Oh - oh - oh - uhn- uhn - oh my - f-fuck me -"  
"And w-why should I d-do that?" I sneer, although deep moans have started escaping my mouth as well. "You're j-just a little s-slut, D-Danny boy..."  
"Yes but - but - uhn - uhn - I'm y-your slut!"  
A wicked smile splits my face. "Who's slut?"  
"Y-yours!"  
I pound into him harder than ever. "W-who makes you cum like th-this?"  
Dan's eyes are squeezed shut, his nails digging into my back. I know that have have him wrapped around my finger.   
"Uhn - oh - Phil!"  
"You're s-such a little s-slut..." I stop to kiss him, moaning into his lips, "but who a-are you a slut f-for?"  
"Y-you!"  
I smirk as his little gasps get louder. "S-sorry, who?"  
"Phil! I'm a-a slut f-for Phil!"  
I know I'll have scratches on my back in the morning, but I'm almost as close as him. Dan is so loud that I can only imagine what our neighbors are thinking.   
"Fuck - fuck - fuck m-me! Oh - oh - uhn - Phil! F-fuck me harder, Phil...fuck me l-like the s-slut I am..."  
And suddenly he goes rigid in my arms, toes curled, mouth forming a perfect silent "o", carving tiny crescents into my back with his nails, his cum spewing between our bodies. I press my lips onto his, kissing him through it, and soon he sends me over the edge as well, crying out into his parted lips.   
I pull out slowly, gently kissing Dan's eyelids, his forehead, his temples, his jaw. He tries to pull me back into bed, but first I pick up my briefs from the floor and put them on, tossing him his own boxers. Finally, I crawl in next to him.   
"Remember how I said I wanted you to fuck me until I screamed your name?" Dan said, so casual and matter-of-fact that I nearly started laughing.   
I grin slyly at him. "Well? Did I disappoint? Because I certainly recall that you screamed more than just my NAME. In fact, I remember being told that you were, actually, my slu-"  
"ANYWAY," Dan interrupts, "let's hope the rooms next door didn't hear me."  
We dress quickly, looking slightly more wrinkled than before. Unfortunately, neither of us can conquer out raging cases of I-just-had-sex hair, so we give up and go out anyway. Right as I swing the door open, I notice a youngish looking boy walking towards us.   
"No, Asante, LISTEN!" He says into his phone. "Are you sure they got off at this floor? I mean, if this is their floor, they might be sleeping or something. I haven't seen anyone at all, much less Dan and Phil!"   
I'd decided to wait for him to pass our door before stepping out, trying to be polite, but when I hear this I pause and turn to Dan. Maybe he's talking with the girl from the elevator!   
"I mean, the only thing that's happened up here was some really intense sex," he continues. "No - god no, Asante, I didn't WATCH it! They were just really loud. I think it was two dudes too. Honestly, if I didn't know any better, I could've sworn one of them kept crying out for someone named Ph-"  
He finally walks by our door, falling quiet when he notices us. I watch his eyes first light up with excitement and triumph, turning to slight confusion as they rake over our rumpled clothes, still-flushed cheeks and obvious sex hair, finally ending in complete shock as he put the pieces together.   
The boy lets out a soft, "Oh," pauses for a moment, then continues walking like he hadn't seen anything. Once he believes he's out of earshot, I hear him practically screech, "ASANTE! YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE THIS! What? Yes, yes, I saw them, but guess what? I think THEY were the loud sex guys! No, listen, I can prove it! Really! Also she was right, Phil definitely tops..."  
We wait for his voice to trail away, then burst out laughing. I turn again to speak to Dan, but suddenly my voice stops working. I'm moving through jello, everything is blurred. And then it all fades to black.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll try to update as soon as possible, but the next chapter is probably going to be longer than this and I'm not sure how long it'll take to write. Please respect the fact that I am a student, and I have lots of schoolwork to do as well, although I'm pretty sure that once I get more momentum on this my schoolwork might take a backseat ;)  
> Anyway, I know this doesn't seem like much now, but I plan for it to be at least 11 chapters. This number will probably change, because it might get somewhat repetitive, but that's the target at the moment. I know this chapter also seems all weird and voodoo-y, but all the other chapters will be pretty normal.  
> I'm open to critique, but please be nice. I'm an emotionally compromised teenage girl, not your punching bag.


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